Now it gets more odd
April 17, 2008
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Arsenal vs. Aston Villa Match Report
March 2, 2008
Short one today. Bout 5 sentences I believe as my Banjax list now extends to both my physical being and my computer which I am currently running in Saf Mode in a vain attempt to fix that Blue Screen of Death.
2:30am kickoff it is and honestly, I thought we were going to draw and well – I was right. Judging by some of the comments made by Villa fans and even some of our own (albeit a minor sect), we were f*laking lucky to get a point and Arsenal are the shittest team ever and I’m going to support someone else.
Hey guys, hey guys, hey guys – WE’RE STILL FIRST. Jesus some of our own mob sound like them West Ham fans halfway through Pardew’s reign before Teves and Curbs came.
That’s about it really.
[ A-LEAGUE GRAND FINAL ] Match Report – Newcastle United Jets vs. Central Coast Mariners
February 24, 2008
Serious match report below, seriously it’s not a Garfield comic or anything. No images either. Sorry about the lack of imagery this week, it’s been a seriousness sort of week.
Well here we go. Just a note to expectants – no coverage of the Sydney game. I know I said it but I wasn’t expecting a crap American commentator and by the time this’ll go up we’ll be 2-0 down seeing as we were 1-0 down by the 2 minute mark. And to confuse you Sydney have already 2-1 with a Renaud – Yes RENAUD goal. Now onto the fun things! The Grand Final happened a matter of hours ago and the celebrations at the SFS have stopped so on to the match report!
Look, refer to my A-League Grand Final prediction. I called it, called it and I was right – 1-0 to the Jets (albeit it wasn’t a J.Griffiths goal, I got the score right.) The CCM started with a 4-4-2 with Greg Owens starting ahead of the Grit of Gumprecht which I thought was an odd move. Gumprecht always brought a work rate and a burst of pure energy even though he is getting on in years. The Jets went with a 4-2-3-1, basically the same lineup from the Queensland game with the exception of Song Jin-Hyung in for James Holland which at the time I thought was a brilliant “surprisery factory movery.” D’Apuzzo at left back was a quiet move too.
Tony Vidmar, the less glorious than his Flying Mullet Crappy Spotty Socceroo Jersey brother Aurelio closed off his career with his last match. 465th professional club match in his career if Simon Hill is to believed (as he usually is.)
The stadium was 3/4 full 45 minutes before the match! Why can’t Sydney do that. It was our own goddamn stadium! The Fox Sports coverage had some nice montages and interviews with some Newcastle peoples such as Ray Baartz, Doug Wendt and current Matilda’s captain Cheryl Salisbury.
In some celebrity appeal, Morris Yemman or however you spell his last name predicted a win for the CCM with surprising knowledge of football naming some players with correct pronunciation. As to be expected Pim Verbeek was there and in a somewhat less than surprising appearance – Kevin Rudd showeded uppity. He did back a bid for the 2018 World Cup so the least he could do was to attend the largest soccer match in Australia (LA vs. Sydney?)
It was a beatiful day and the match finally kicked off. Within 6, count them – SIX SECONDS we get a foul. At 40, count them – FORTY SECONDS we get a corner for the Jets. The Mariners occupied the Cove end and the Jets were opposite than them. Fouls aplenty during the first 10 minutes and then the tempo started to slow. Newcastle had most of the possesion and in true A-League fashion a nasty fould was commited and we had what I call a “crowdation.” Where all players occupy 1 square metre.
Yellow for the Jayjay Griffiths for the tackle and then a return tackle from the Jedi Jedinak got him a yellow card. Tarek Elrich had the 1st shot in the game which was comfortably saved by Vukovic. Newcastle were making a good start with Thompson had the first real chanche which went over the bar.
Bridge and Song looked the most lively with the Jets flowing football reminiscent of a certain London club was present. The Mariners lacked drive or conviction and they couldn’t get into the game. The Jets were controlling near every part of the field. The Jets had a slew of corners all taken by Song, his set pieces today were poor even though his general play was excellent.
Adam Griffiths got a yellow for a silly tackle in front of the box. Johnny Aloisi took the free kick with his left foot – right into the wall. It was an average match with nothing special, the Jets we’re still dominating. Aloisi and Petrovski we’re being nullified by both Durante and Griffiths.
Half time.
First chance of the second half not taken by Aloisi who headed wide of the mark. The game was starting to open up but the final ball was poor from both teams. At this point the Mariners were dominating – but again there was no rhythm to the game, no-one was decisive enough and basically everyone in the final third touch a touch too many.
Then on the halfway line, in an uncharecteristic mistake – Vidmar gave away possesion to Mark Bridge. Bridge took advantage, ran up to the box-edge – took on Wilkonson and chucked out a screamer from the edge of the box right into the far right corner. 64 minutes gone and the Squadron were screaming.
In a somewhat expected move Gumprecht (who should’ve started in my opininon) went on for Owens and Pondeljak went on for Kwasnik. Owens and Kwasnik really had to create today but unakin to themselves (maybe not Owens) they did not create nor threaten. Sasho and Johnny got no service from either than these and it was a kind of forced move by McKinna to take players off who really weren’t putting in.
The Jets started to play more and more on the break and in a somewhat unfortunate move – Mark Bridge came off due to an injury to the right thigh. James Holland was the one to replace him with Joel Griffiths going in up deeper. And Vidmar, with his final minutes in Australian football marred by a mistake was rather harshly (but understandably) subbed off for Matty Simon; both Mark Bridge and Vidmar got rousing applause from their respective supporters. Matty Thompson was also replaced with the fresh legs of Jason Hoffman.
So at this point I begged to ask the question… Where the ‘ell is Joel Griffiths and why isn’t he doing anything? I saw that 2 or 3 Mariners players were always on his tail, most of all Jedinak who followed him like a dog – this was proving to be successful but took some pressure off some of the other Jets players allowing James Holland and Song Jin-Hyung to show off some fancy flicks and backheels.
Long ball end to the game – I wrote that down onto my notes. I thought that the game was over, Denni was going to come on to kill some time and the clock was rearing into the 90th minute.
And then Johnny Aloisi either dived or got brought down in the box, I thought it was neither. He maybe tripped over or fell over himself as people tend to do when running at full speed with studs on. He did repeatedly complain to Mark Shield who waved away the protests. Mark Shield was having a decent game but not great by his standards.
Durante made a desperate clearance toward his own goal and I started to look closer. Corner taken and after Covic took another more lethal “crowdation” occured. Everyone was shouting, brawls happened – pushing shoving and ref complaining.
You know, the usual A-League things.
At that point I didn’t know what happened and by the sounds of it, neither did Simon Hill nor Robbie Slater. A replay showed that there was a clear handball in the box by James Holland that was missed by the Assistant (fair enough, he was unsighted) and Mark Shield. Now I was thinking, “He should’ve caught that.” Though at that point my mind was split into what just happened and what was happening. There were numerous yellow cards and a Vukovic red in which he said something to the ref and just ran off just knowing that he would get sent off. Well, nothing you can do – full time whistle.
I’ll leave the penalty appeals up to debate.
The 5 minute celebratory “heat of the moment” thing stopped and the presentations ensued with Fox Sports taking every advantage to plug all their sponsors and even themselves. The Joe Marston was awarded to Andrew Durante – he had a good game but honestly I thought that it should’ve gone to Song or A. Griffiths. The CCM players just looked devastated – head shaking and pitch groping and all that. More names got called and some, well all of the crowd booed the officials. Um, some clapped for some reason… and some booed Vidmar so I wish death and plague to all of those who booed him. Durante vowed to the Squadron that he would party which was nice.
And Con’s victory speech if you can find it was absolutely awesomely pure class.
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DURING THE MATCH – Live Blog
Half time and I’ll make this quick, Newcastle are dominating, it’s a rather flat game out there to be honest. Central Coast lack drive, spark or anything creative.
Expecting Pondel or Gumps to come on for the CCM. Man of the match so far would be Song Jin-Hyung. Nice touches and skill although final ball could use work.
Jedi and both Griffith’s have got yellows.
Second half was Mariners for awhile but the Jets persevered with a Bridge goal after a Viddie mistake. Sad way to cap off a career.
Then just ping pong from then on. Handball by Holland in last minute and in true fashion a “crowdation” of players broke out. Missed by Mark Shield. Can’t blame ‘im. RedVukes and Yellow for Aloisi.
THIS THANG IS NEWCASTLES
1-0 to Jets.
Martson to Durante.
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Cheers till tommorow. I’ll have a super duper season review up and I’ll post this match report up onto the top menu there.
The Resurrection of a Blog – An Italian, A Motorway and A Golden Coast – PORN PORN PORN
February 21, 2008
In a fun social experiment, I will mention the word porn in this blog.
Let’s see how many MORE hits I get.
Well honestly, after about a month’s hiatus of this blog being down – I’m bringing sexy back Cannontime back online. Cheers to the 10 or so people a day who got redirected to the site by you know, Google. Here’s what some of you searched:
what time is qld roar vs sydney playing – I don’t know!
tottenham yellow – Whut?
the lion is walking with a donkey – Why would anyone search this?
lions catching a zebra – Nat Geo, not Cannontime.
lion mauling gazelle picture – Strange people.
tarek elrich new haircut – Awesome.
neymar jr is the next pele – Is he?
brazilian korean – Song Jin-Hyung!
give me alex brosque video footage – No. Here’s what you want.
Now I don’t have a Lion Mauling a Gazelle picture, but I do have a crappy picture of a Dragon.
As for changes to the site – screw that. Well there are a few. Less match reports, I know none of YOU could do a match report for every single A-League match ever in the world of the ever. So – Socceroos games, Sydney games, Arsenal games if the kickoff isn’t so late and Important matches games matches. Also updated or will update the about page. So onto crap that happened in the hiatus period. Haha. Period.
So, what happened this past month?
Jets knocked out of the Major or whatever Semi Final, 3-2 down agg. at the Bluetongue.
Sydney FC out of the Finals, 2-0 down to the Roar at Suncorp.
Queensland Roar out of the Finals, 3-2 down to the Jets at EnergyAUS.
The Grand Final is an F3 derby at the SFS, I might possibly go.
And Australia beat some asian country.
In terms of Arsenal things, some stuff happened like stuff like stuff.
4-0 Manchester United and you know, other things that you can find out about at the other 502809587208967029648708189277510948708 Arsenal Blogs on the net.
Now all the Frank is out of the way, I’ll be posting some other stuff like a season review and all that and maybe some awards. On to the usual then.
ARSENAL:
No match report for the Milan game, you can’t expect me to do that.
Dear public blog,
Hey – this is me. Cesc. Again. We played against Milan today, I think that 40 year old guy is a freaky-man. He likes people who are 20 years younger than him! Whenever he went to ground he always somehow ended up under my crotch or Eboue’s crotch or even Gattuso’s crotch!That really tall Australian guy, “Spider” I think they call him. He was AMAZING! He actually held the shots Ade and Dudu (hehe) threw at him! Amazing things. I really think that we outplayed Milan today. That Gattuso guy freaks me out with his hairy hairy and his Scotalian accent. Well anyway, we couldn’t get a goal even though – honestly we deserved one. Anyway, I have to go places with Senderos now.
cesctheassistoman: hay sendorus wanna go to london palace and get pictured by papraze?
rogerfedererrocks: no
Cesc thinks Arsenal can cause an upset or summat. Whatever Cesc does, Arsenal fans listen. He’s Jebus – JEBUS.
OTHER EUROPEAN CLUBS GOINGS ON:
HYUNDAI A-LEAGUE:
Northern Thunder and the LA Gold Coast Galaxy have been basically confirmed for the A-League. Well, yesterday – Wynton Rufer and Miron Bleiberg/burg/er have SPECIFICALLY asked me to create a few concept logo’s for their respective new A-League clubs. Here they are.
Hmm? Sydney vs. Houston? Pish-posh (Spice Girls REUNITE). SEE NO EVIL HEAR NO EVIL PLAY NO EVIL. You know, we’ll beat LA… again in the 3rd place playoff in the Pan Pacs. Are we the AC Milan of the A-League? A bunch of you know… old people playing barely good enough to challenge for a trophy. At least in Milan they don’t take players out of semi-retirement or switch their coaching job for a playing job!
Renauuuuuuud, Waaaaaaalsh, Robinsoooooooooooooooooon.
Well that’s the blog today.
Will post tomomorow and you know… won’t go on a 1 month hiatus.
Happy recovery day.
January 27, 2008
Australia day yesterday. No Blog.
Recovery day today. 4 Line Blog.
Public Holiday tommorow. No Blog tommorow.
No blog until Tuesday. Have fun.
